My name is Perceive Shava. Until now, I have only been known to the public by my pseudonym; ‘Susan Forgives’. I want to share my name, and my story. 18 months ago I was acid attacked in a taxi in Cape Town. Since then, I’ve had seven major operations. I have three more years of reconstructive surgery to go. That incident turned me into a victim, but I am a survivor and someone who forgives. I have forgiven the men responsible for the attack.
The men who attacked me were unknown to me, but I don’t think the attack was random. I had been in an abusive relationship prior to the attack, and it is my opinion that I was attacked as a result of this relationship. By sharing my story, I want to help other women out there in the same situation.
I have not spoken out before now, because there was a legal process in place after my attack, and I didn’t want to talk about this while that process was ongoing. The case is now closed, but I am still left with more questions than answers. But women must speak out about such things, and report them. Even if they’re being threatened, they must go to the police or find someone they trust and feel safe with, and share it with them. Abuse must never be tolerated.
This is not about revenge, or anger. I’m not doing this for myself, because it doesn’t change what happened to me. This happened, and that can’t be changed. But maybe my story can inspire someone out there. Maybe someone is in an abusive relationship, but they can’t speak up about it because they are afraid. It’s not easy to speak up about these things. It takes courage. I want to encourage my fellow victims and sisters, and maybe change their lives or impact their lives somehow.
The acid attack made me look at life differently, at what is really important to me. Is it how I look, or who I am inside? And what I can achieve? I can still go to work, I can do anything I want to do. I am capable. It doesn’t matter how you look, but what you are inside, and no-one can take that away from you. They can kill the outside, but they can’t kill what you are inside.
My life has changed in good and bad ways. I’ve met a lot of wonderful people along this journey. People who were supportive. I never felt alone. I don’t have real parents, or a mother to call, but I never felt alone because I had support. Now I’ve got the opportunity to be a gender rights programme co-ordinator. I have accepted a job working with PASSOP on their gender-based violence project.
Women are more vulnerable to sexual violence. Lots of men don’t respect women. They see us as sex objects. There’s no respect for women. I think this problem is worldwide, and I feel it’s getting worse. Cases are not investigated thoroughly, and people get away with abuse.
I want my real name to be known because that is me. My parents gave me that name. I am Perceive. But I also like being Susan Forgives. It reminds me of all that has happened, and how much I have grown. I don’t want to hide either name. I was scared to tell people my real name. But my face is out there, now my name is too.
If telling my story will help even one person, or change even one person’s life, then it was worth it.